One of the things that was very important to me about the run was to share what I went through. This is a big deal to me for a number of reasons. One of them being is to get as much awareness about brain injury prevention as possible. To make as much noise and talk to as many people as I can. To help avoid a brain injury in the first place is the simplest most effective way of treating it: just don't have one.
Another reason to share as much as possible is that I wanted people to know that I am just a guy with a brain injury. I am no rock star; I am not a politician; I am not a famous sports star. I am just, well, you. If it can happen to me it can happen to you. However that is only part of it. The larger part of the "I am just you" aspect is that look at what "you" can do with a brain injury. It is not easy, it's really hard at times, yet look at what "you" are doing. It's amazing.
This second point was important to me because I met so many people who survived a brain injury that were struggling with this new world they belonged to and there are a lot of stats that show depression, anxiety, suicide, crime, homelessness and other medical issues that come to the forefront after a brain injury. I too suffer from an anxiety disorder. The damage to my brain causes my neurons to misfire....the funky thing about serotonin reuptake inhibitors...that, I will talk about another time. Basically the cars on my mental highways go off road when they shouldn't. They get road rage at the other cars and then the highway just ends.
So here I was today. Just a guy with a head injury running along the road with a sunburn from yesterday, about day 4 of a pretty bad headache, and my sleep is all wonky. The temperature is, well, hot. It's a bit of a heat wave (even though today was supposed to be the coolest of the heat wave). I am trudging along, had two interviews on the road and just spending another day running.
After the first break I trudged on out and I was starting to get a really bad jaw ache. It was strange, but my body has been pretty weird since I started this. All sorts of funky things have been happening. I just sort of took note of it and continued on. I then noticed that I started to get cold. In fact I was shivering.
As this was happening and I am a getting a little dizzy, I look back to get directions from the support vehicle. Mandy tells me to continue straight through the intersection and then a minute later she honks at me to tell me to turn right. I snapped. I mean I got so emotional; I was so frustrated, irrationally frustrated. I snap at her and I continue my running. I think I gave her some strange lecture about how she should know where I have to turn before I get to the intersection and communicate those directions to me before they are needed. It doesn't make sense now, I am sure it didn't make sense to her. I mean I pretty much told her to predict my speed, and know all the intersections coming up and give me advanced, detailed instructions (I would forget them anyway, and with me running with headphones in with the inability to read hand signs and minds), it was a very strange outburst.
I took a break because my heart rate was starting to jump up high. I was getting really bad acid reflux and felt like throwing up.
So I rested for an hour in the CRV and I fell asleep. I woke up and went back to running and I was so confused, irritated and having really strange muscle spasms. I got it in my head that I had to run 42kl. The world would end if I didn't: there are deadlines, people counting on me, and in a few minutes I had convinced myself that the life as I know it would end it if I didn't keep running. I was having a massive anxiety attack. One of the great gifts of my brain injury...not to mention it was really, really hot.
So I called her a day at 32kl.
I am not a superhero. I am not an athlete. I am just Dave, a guy with a brain injury.
Another reason to share as much as possible is that I wanted people to know that I am just a guy with a brain injury. I am no rock star; I am not a politician; I am not a famous sports star. I am just, well, you. If it can happen to me it can happen to you. However that is only part of it. The larger part of the "I am just you" aspect is that look at what "you" can do with a brain injury. It is not easy, it's really hard at times, yet look at what "you" are doing. It's amazing.
This second point was important to me because I met so many people who survived a brain injury that were struggling with this new world they belonged to and there are a lot of stats that show depression, anxiety, suicide, crime, homelessness and other medical issues that come to the forefront after a brain injury. I too suffer from an anxiety disorder. The damage to my brain causes my neurons to misfire....the funky thing about serotonin reuptake inhibitors...that, I will talk about another time. Basically the cars on my mental highways go off road when they shouldn't. They get road rage at the other cars and then the highway just ends.
So here I was today. Just a guy with a head injury running along the road with a sunburn from yesterday, about day 4 of a pretty bad headache, and my sleep is all wonky. The temperature is, well, hot. It's a bit of a heat wave (even though today was supposed to be the coolest of the heat wave). I am trudging along, had two interviews on the road and just spending another day running.
After the first break I trudged on out and I was starting to get a really bad jaw ache. It was strange, but my body has been pretty weird since I started this. All sorts of funky things have been happening. I just sort of took note of it and continued on. I then noticed that I started to get cold. In fact I was shivering.
As this was happening and I am a getting a little dizzy, I look back to get directions from the support vehicle. Mandy tells me to continue straight through the intersection and then a minute later she honks at me to tell me to turn right. I snapped. I mean I got so emotional; I was so frustrated, irrationally frustrated. I snap at her and I continue my running. I think I gave her some strange lecture about how she should know where I have to turn before I get to the intersection and communicate those directions to me before they are needed. It doesn't make sense now, I am sure it didn't make sense to her. I mean I pretty much told her to predict my speed, and know all the intersections coming up and give me advanced, detailed instructions (I would forget them anyway, and with me running with headphones in with the inability to read hand signs and minds), it was a very strange outburst.
I took a break because my heart rate was starting to jump up high. I was getting really bad acid reflux and felt like throwing up.
So I rested for an hour in the CRV and I fell asleep. I woke up and went back to running and I was so confused, irritated and having really strange muscle spasms. I got it in my head that I had to run 42kl. The world would end if I didn't: there are deadlines, people counting on me, and in a few minutes I had convinced myself that the life as I know it would end it if I didn't keep running. I was having a massive anxiety attack. One of the great gifts of my brain injury...not to mention it was really, really hot.
So I called her a day at 32kl.
I am not a superhero. I am not an athlete. I am just Dave, a guy with a brain injury.
Saw you today (wed) run by my house in newtonville then at the Tim hortons in Newcastle. So amazing!!!!! Keep your head up you are such an inspiration!!!!! I will be following your progress from now on!!!! :)
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